Welcoming Children

At Or Shalom, we don’t just welcome intergenerational community — we celebrate it! One of Judaism’s highest values is l’dor vador — the collective responsibility to transmit, guide and nurture our children in Jewish traditions. Children learn about ritual, wonder and belonging not just by attending programming specifically for kids, but by participating in services and religious programs for the entire community. Children learn about being in Jewish community by being present with their families and the larger community. We are grateful for the joy and spirit that young people bring to our prayer spaces. 

We recognize that children can be loud, make noise at inopportune moments, and move around — as they should! They’re right on track with where their bodies and development are meant to be! Just as we welcome adults to take  care of their bodies during services in the way that works for them, we welcome young people to do the same. We also recognize that, for some, the presence of kids at services can be painful, whether due to struggles with infertility, personal loss, or estrangement. We honor each of our experiences as we strive to create a dynamic intergenerational Jewish community.

What can adults do?

● Welcome children individually and wish them a Shabbat Shalom!
● Be patient as children learn to use their ‘synagogue voices’
● Be patient with parents and family members as they support their kids’ exploration of Shabbat services.
● Thank parents and family members for attending services with their child–this can help them feel fully welcomed!
● Read alongside children and point out different parts of the services to them; sing along with them joyously to the prayers, or offer them silly faces and a smile :) 
● Refrain from shushing children or giving unsolicited advice to children or their adults. If the presence of children is impacting your experience of the service and requires communication, please speak from the personal, using “I” statements

What can parents and other loved ones do?

● Relax and know we are very glad you and your children are here. Participate as you are able!
● If your child must leave the sanctuary, ensure they have adult supervision.
● Make use of our toys, or bring your own quiet activities.
● We ask that during Divrei Torah (sermons and speeches), guest speakers, memorial services, and Mourner’s Kaddish, parents and family members be especially mindful of noise and consider taking their kids outside of the sanctuary when necessary.

What can children do?

● Know that we are happy to have you as part of our synagogue family and that you are loved and treasured.
● Sing along, or dance and move your body with the prayers and music.
● If it’s hard to sit still, you can play quietly with our toys or with toys you bring from home. Remember that prayer books are sacred and that we should treat them with respect.
● Remember that many people are trying to focus, so try to use your quiet, synagogue voices while others are speaking.
● If you feel like you’re having a hard time keeping quiet, ask your grown-ups to take you out of the room for a break.
● Watch the adults, learn, ask questions and be a part of the service. Remember – we LOVE that you are here with us.

Adopted from Kol Tzedek Synagogue in Philadelphia, with thanks to Congregation Solel in Mississauga, Ontario, for the original document on which this is based.